Aug
31
Amazing Grace – Beyond My Doing
August 31, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Amazing Grace – Beyond My Doing
This morning I woke to a quiet and still house that changed within minutes of my teenage kids coming to life from their slumber. In a half hour the ukulele, guitar, piano and didgeridoo (a long, hollowed-out instrument of the indigenous people of Australia) had all been played. I stood at the kitchen sink and listened to their ensemble of creative sounds, and as their music filled the air I reflected on my latest ventures in learning.
Having a desire to improve my memory has led me to join a group of friends who are learning to play the ukulele, one instrument I’ve done little in the past to learn but felt it would be easy enough to fit into my somewhat busy schedule. We met for the first time on Friday and, for an hour and a half, cheerfully strummed and sung our way through folk, country, reggae, rock-and-roll and, of course, Hawaiian songs. The one rule with this group is “you must sing when you play, no matter how bad you might sound.” I love this because everyone goes into their happy little place without a care in the world once they realize no one cares how bad they may sound, and by understanding that participation is the number one rule they just do it.
After our class ended I decided to challenge myself and anyone else in the group who wished to join in memorizing a first song, “Amazing Grace.” I have played the guitar for years but only play when I have my book of sheet music in front of me. I never really memorized the music and because of that haven’t made the music a part of me. I know that in order to be freed from the restraints of inability to do certain things I must challenge myself beyond those abilities. So, if I learn a new song each week by the end of the year I’ll be able to pick that instrument up anywhere I go and begin to play. By choosing an instrument that doesn’t require perfection to sound good I will be able to throw caution to the wind and just enjoy the process while being surrounded by others who are enjoying that same journey.
I tend to desire knowledge on a continual basis. I believe that is why I always have a book in my hand or nearby. Along with the music lesson this week I’ll be attending four computer classes, a photography lesson on incamera metering and a watercolor painting class. This may sound like an enormous load, but I am looking at the skills and knowledge that will be acquired and, more importantly, where they will possibly take me. I feel it is important to stretch oneself once in a while, not to the breaking point (but possibly just before), in order to push the ceiling up high enough on our abilities. We do this in mountain biking by climbing a hill harder than we feel we can, sometimes close to the point of exhaustion. This strengthens and increases our ability to climb the next time we have a hill placed before us. By repeating this process we become stronger and quicker than if we just slowly climbed the hill each time we were faced with it.
If we wish for changes, for possible miracles in our lives, we must understand that miracles of achievement do not come from only dreaming. It is in stretching long, reaching high, dreaming big and going the distance that miracles can be granted. It is the actions of hard work, desire and faith that will get you to the top. And even though you may not see it, if you do your part and stretch yourself beyond where you think you can go, if more is needed, more will be given. It is then that you will understand the amazing grace that is extended from Heaven.
In Other’s Words:
“He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.”
~Annie Johnson Flint~
Aug
27
Traditions – Hold On to the Good
August 27, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Traditions – Hold On to the Good
Grandma’s attic used to be a place that safely kept treasures and would take its visitors to another world through the memories it held captive in its archives. One could go there and sit for hours, nostalgically sifting through old photographs, hand-made treasures and mementos that would bring their heritage to life. There within the old trunk, dusty and musty, you could undoubtedly discover that your ancestors were real as you touched items that touched them so many years ago. As we have stepped into a new millennium and left that antique world behind, many of us still try to hold on to family traditions that take us back to our childhood. Those traditions are more easily lost as our society tends to put less importance on things that are old versus the new and in style. Just as the old attic trunk safely held its treasures that helped bring back old memories, we must also do what is needed to retain traditions valuable to us.
When we have young children it seems easier to carry on some of the fun family traditions. At my friend’s house the Easter Bunny ties yarn to the children’s hidden baskets then weaves the yarn through each room of the house until finally the end is tied to the child’s bedroom doorknob. In visualizing what this tradition would have been like a century or more ago, I laugh as I picture a dozen yarn ends tied to one single bedroom door handle. Maybe that tradition was started not too many generations ago. Which brings me to the thought that family traditions can begin with you, for your children and for future generations to follow. I think of how my sister, who without fail, spends a little time with each of her children at bedtime. She has built a tradition fostering good relationships with her now teenage kids, spending time talking and being with them when the house has gone still. What a wonderful legacy my sister is leaving in teaching her children that they are important and loved enough to be given that precious time each night, when I’m sure many tasks and chores stand waiting.
I recently read an article by Donald L. Hallstrom, who was born in Hawaii yet has lived throughout the world. He referred to Hawaii as the “isles of the sea” and called it a melting pot, stating that, “others have more accurately referred to the islands as a delicious stew, with each culture maintaining an identity, but blending together in a harmonious societal broth which can be savored by all.” He continues on by saying, “I have long been interested in culture and tradition and their influence on how we look, think, and act. Our culture and its related traditions help establish our sense of identity and fill the vital human need to belong.” He further goes on by telling how, “anciently, Hawaiians had a practice, the spirit of which is still exhibited today by many in the islands. When greeting another person, one would come face-to-face and offer an expression of ‘ha,’ even expelling their breath for another to feel. The literal translation of ha is ‘the breath of life.’ It was a way to give of oneself and show another a deep sense of brotherly love and caring. When foreigners first came to Hawaii, they did not exhibit this same respect for others. They were called haole, ha-ole, meaning ‘without ha.’”
I believe respect is a vital component in accepting and holding on to traditions. It is important to think for yourself and design your life by realizing which traditions encourage good and healthy behavior versus those that are damaging yet neatly packaged to appear as good. Only take from those that benefit. There are bad traditions just as well as good; tradition can be dangerous if we allow its power to bring forth bad into the next generation. We must guard against lifting up and passing on those traditions that do not foster healthy habits. An example of this might be the need to celebrate a certain day for one’s culture with an overindulgence of alcohol and feeling justified in doing so. Teaching that overindulgence, whether it be of food, drink or fun, is fine under certain circumstances can carry those bad habits forward to future generations. And yes, you can also be the one to end those that are harmful and replace them with different traditions.
As we start our new day it is up to us to decide what will be treasured and kept for future generations or what will be discarded and left behind. Even if children are not part of your legacy, you too can grasp onto traditions and positively influence others around you with the heritage you hold and carry forth. Mother Teresa hadn’t children of her own, yet she adopted the children of the world as her influence of charity and goodness spread to all corners of the earth. Your influence can be great and deeply affect another internally just as the “ha” brings a breath of charity and compassion and an intense feeling from the giver’s soul. It is that influence that will be remembered by those generations we may never meet as they grasp onto and live the traditions we leave with them when we are gone.
In Other’s Words:
“A tradition without intelligence is not worth having.”
~T.S. Eliot~
Aug
23
The Collector – What More Do You Need?
August 23, 2010 | Leave a Comment
The Collector – What More Do You Need?
When you have been married as long as I have, you tend to accumulate many things, both wanted and unwanted . . . and hopefully the spouse is in the wanted category. Our twenty-eight-year anniversary just passed, and as usual we did not look to the traditional or modern anniversary gift list to figure out what to get each other. In an odd and somewhat unconventional way this turned out to be the year of the Crock-Pot; some of you may know it as a “slow cooker.”
The story began several months ago when a friend explained how she balances life with a large family and many responsibilities. To help minimize a hectic Sunday schedule and bring her family together, she has started a tradition called “Crock-Pot Sunday.” Every Sunday morning she prepares a meal in her slow cooker, and by the time her hungry family returns home from church late that afternoon the house is filled with the inviting aroma of a home-cooked meal. I love this because it makes dinner preparations easy, yet more importantly it creates a gratifying custom that welcomes in. In our busy lives chaos tends to push out the gathering of family and friends around a table to share and enjoy what should be treasured most: each other’s company.
After finding our slow cooker we received as a wedding gift so many years ago, I dusted it off and put it to work. Up until this time I believe it had seen fewer meals prepared in it than the years it was old, and after so many years of neglect this golden cooker became the center of attention, point of discussion and means of controversy. You see, this old yet functional appliance is lacking some of its modern counterpart’s features, such as automatic warming, digital display and a removable porcelain insert to make cleanup easier. The latest and greatest was found to be rather inexpensive yet had all the added options and features we were looking for. So now the search was on to find it. And there it was, my find of all finds, in stainless steal to boot. There it sat on the kitchen table for Steve to come home and see: the perfect anniversary present. All was well until Steve arrived home with almost the same cooker (not stainless steel, however), cheaper and with a bonus baby Crock-Pot for sauces. So the competition was on as to whose gift would stay, giving the bragging rights to that person for finding the best deal. Steve campaigned fiercely by posting a neatly scribed sign on his Crock-Pot stating, “Pick Me!” Yeah, way to play fair, Eh? He figured that the kids would be the judges but neither of them would vote, leaving the final decision up to me. I won, the pretty one stays!
That was the final decision until Steve came home the next day with a smirk claiming to have found the one I picked only $20 cheaper at a discount store. “OK, you win,” I stated as I agreed to return the other Crock-Pot and ventured over to buy the winning prize. Hmmm, as I stared looking at it on the shelf I came to the conclusion that it could wait another day or two because I knew I’d have to make room for this new addition.
When the old golden Crock-Pot comes to mind, making room for more when more isn’t necessary really is the lesson taught. With so many years of accumulated stuff, it is easy to become lost in it all. The truth of the matter is, if we were asked to list from memory everything we own in each room of our house, most of the items would be forgotten. Also, if we ventured through our cupboards, closets and secret hiding places we would find that most of our treasures have not been used for years. Why do we desire a need for more? I believe that if we come to understand the answer to that question we can possibly find a solution to de-cluttering our lives. My answer came in how I was raised. My mother was born during the Great Depression of the thirties and was a child when World War II caused great scarcity of food and conventional items of day-to-day living. It was ingrained in me to not waste anything . . . ever. “Waste not, want not,” was repeated over and over again in my childhood and gave excuse for my mother’s quirky rituals of washing and reusing straws, plastic bags and most plastic containers store goods would come in. Once hand-me-down clothes were worn out she would remove, and save, the buttons before turning that fabric into a household rag. Their generation was recycling before recycling was chic. I still have and treasure the button jar that my grandmother and mother used. I haven’t used it in years, but I have an emotional attachment to the memories it holds. Is that a good thing? Yes, to a degree, and only in moderation. If I find I am holding on to things because they reminded me of someone or an experience, I should ask myself, “Now really, am I hoping that a grandchild will treasure it as I do, or will it just end up in a garage sale as unwanted junk?” It is not bad to nostalgically hold on to a few items that connect you to your heritage, but make sure it is within reason. Understand why you hang onto things and address the issue if stuff is controlling you.
Another area to look at if your environment is cluttered and out of control is why you accumulate things. Do you buy items because they emotionally fill a void? If so, what is that void and how can it be filled otherwise, in a healthier way? If your actions are recognized as emotional impulses then it is time to address them and get help if you can’t do it on your own. I use to go to garage sales every Saturday morning looking for treasures, and treasures I would find. I justified my hobby and all the things I acquired from it because “they were such good deals” and because of the high I got from the “thrill of the hunt.” At one point I realized that I was buying just because the deals were so good and not because I needed the items, finally recognizing the unhealthy road emotionally and financially I was on. Thank goodness I realized my actions to be detrimental and made choices to change.
My desire to have control verses being controlled, in this case by things, has freed me. Now when I shop I ask myself, “Is it a need or a want?” By repeating this simple phrase before going to the register, I am able to clear out unnecessary items.
I didn’t ever return for the Crock-Pot and each Sunday happily use the one I have. It has become a gentle reminder that I choose to appreciate what I have, allowing my life to be simplified in finding enough with less rather then more. So on a Sunday afternoon there will be more room for those of greatest importance, family and friends, as they are welcomed by the aroma of home cooking. We will gather around a table and find that the treasures are in this time spent together.
In Other’s Words:
“Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.”
~Unknown~
Aug
19
Helping Hands – Willing Souls
August 19, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Helping Hands – Willing Souls
Last night I joined a group of more than 40 volunteers gathered together on a warm, muggy evening ready and willing to roll up their sleeves and get to work. The plan was a rather simple one, but as simple as it may have appeared, it took orchestration and desire beyond those individuals waiting patiently in the church parking lot to be assigned to families willing to let strangers in.
The idea in forming this monthly service project, appropriately titled “Power Hour,” was to provide eight to ten families a group of helping hands from willing souls to give service for yard work, house cleaning, home repairs or whatever the need. Each month the plan will be repeated, bringing together those willing to help others for a small but effective period of time. This was the first Power Hour of many to come, and I have to admit I was concerned about the number of people who would volunteer to participate—not so much those who would show up to do the work but rather those families willing to have work done for them.
It is easier to allow others in when you feel burdened and have nowhere to turn, but how about before we get to that state, are we able to put pride aside and allow help from those who just want to serve us? Today I was sent a story that ties in well to this one. It took place almost five years ago off the California coast near the Farallon Islands. A crab fisherman had spotted a female humpback whale in distress. She had become tangled in the lines connecting about a dozen crab traps each weighing 90 pounds, forcing this whale to struggle just to keep her blowhole above water. The nylon lines that connected these traps were wrapped around her torso, front left flipper and through her mouth, and one line was wrapped at least four times around her tail. In some places the binding ropes were cinched so tight from her struggle that they had cut into her flesh. It took four divers about an hour to cut her loose from this entanglement, and one of the divers reported that during their work she remained calm, allowing them to safely free her. At that moment she circled her rescuers and then, approaching each one, nuzzled and gently played with them before swimming away. One of the divers stated, “It seemed kind of affectionate, like a dog that’s happy to see you.” This experience and gentle show of gratitude has undoubtedly left those divers with a sense of appreciation embedded not just on their minds but also in their hearts.
It is easier to allow others in when we are at our rope’s end, feeling there is nowhere to turn and struggling to come up for air. But the lesson I wish to convey is, “How willing are we to allow others to do good and receive it graciously even though it may not be life-saving?” Sometimes it just takes having a few tasks removed from our burden to become untangled from those things that weigh us down. And hopefully this gentle nudge will bring us an understanding that sometimes it takes small but meaningful acts to bring us to a new place, allowing us to once again move freely.
In Other Words:
Wings of Angels
Wings of Angels
On wings of angels we too may fly,
Freeing us from our world of care
And finding lo that freedom is found
Not from the sky but on the ground.
A cherub might our rescuer seem
When we do cry and wish to bring
Us far away from earthen woes
And far away from dreaded foes.
Do we not see most angels come,
Not floating down from up above
But rather on this earth’s same sod
As they do walk by following God?
Do we know care to be a hand
Of help, of hope, a strengthening band,
Or are we blind in sightless paths
Through selfish pride we let them pass?
A weakened state or fallen form,
This may be what is needed from
Each one who bends and bows to break
Their unwillingness of help to take.
Do we not see most angels come,
Not floating down from up above
But rather on this earth’s same sod
As they do walk by following God?
So as you see your angels come
To serve you well and lift you from
Those low, dark places on earthen sod,
Be glad they knew to walk with God.
~A.E.Gold/August 2010~
Aug
16
Spontaneity – A Freeing Action
August 16, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Spontaneity – A Freeing Action
The other day I received a call from a friend asking if I wanted to go to the desert to photograph the meteor showers. I would have less than one hour to prepare and get to the meet-up location if I chose to participate in this last-minute field trip, and we would be up most of the night to maximize the time spent there before having to turn around and drive home. The decision had to be made with little time to think about it. I had only time enough to call my husband and see if he had any reservations about me going. He simply replied, “Joshua Tree . . . at night for the meteor showers? You’d be crazy not to go.” That was all the support and push I needed to grab my photography gear and fly out the door.
There were three of us who made the rushed decision to venture out on a three-hour road trip in hopes of finding our chosen location before sunset. How often have I turned down opportunities in the past just because there wasn’t enough time to properly prepare? None that I can remember! I feel that my ability to see value in experience above most confines has given me a more spontaneous and carefree life, one with more adventure than I would have had otherwise.
What may seem like spontaneity to some would appear as reckless abandonment to others. Thank goodness I am surrounded by many people who fear less and encourage more than most. I have a spouse who can be seen nightly attempting to learn how to ride a unicycle. He chooses to practice at night after all the neighborhood children have been called inside so he won’t run over anybody. His technique is rather unique. In one hand he uses a tall walking stick made from a tree branch to stabilize his motion as he attempts each shaky and uncontrolled pedal stroke. At first it was a little painful to watch as he took his tumbles, yet undaunted he would always get back up and carry on. He has been working at this process every night for about a week. Each time he gains a little more skill and can now travel the entire length of the street without tapping down his stick and relying on it very often. It is amazing how much effort is needed to train one’s mind to find the balance (the sweet spot) and continue to correct back to it to stay upright and, in this case, on one wheel. The walking stick is there for support and once the skills have been mastered will no longer be needed until the next adventure is conceived.
Many things we may consider in life are stopped by our inability to shift our mindset and lean forward, spontaneously stepping into the challenge. Sometimes we may just need a walking stick to give us the support and courage to climb aboard. I see the aid given by this strong yet crooked branch similar the support I gain from others when they encourage me to “Go for it!” There are many who through fear of the “What Ifs?” may try to stop you or knock down the support you receive while attempting a new adventure. Recognize if they are a help or a hindrance and make your own choice to do what you feel is best. If you do not have encouragement from others to try something new or something that you have desired to do for a while, then find someone who will uplift you in that journey. They may need to tend to your wounds when you fall, but choose someone who will also lift you up and motivate you to brush yourself off, get back on and find the sweet balance you can eventually have as you move forward, catching your dreams along the way.
With time and practice you too may find a carefree and adventurous life that can be grasped by being spontaneous and learning to lean into the next adventure. It really does add exhilaration to the day, and with practice you will discover those dreams are no longer wishes unfulfilled as you reach for the stars.
In Other’s Words:
“Star light, star bright,
First star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight…
Follow your dreams!”
~Unknown~
Aug
13
Protect – Living Instinctively
August 13, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Protect – Living Instinctively
In dealing with life’s challenges, so much can be understood through the watchful observation of animals adapting to their habitat. Animals act primarily on instinct, with their most important driving force being the need to survive. Whether it is a camouflaged insect evading capture or a creature higher up on the food chain guarding against fewer predators, they all keep a watchful eye for anything or anyone who can destroy them.
Several months ago I was able to observe the cat in this photo adapting to her environment. She happens to live in the desert surrounded by wolves, fourteen of them to be exact. Even though these fierce adversaries have only a double-walled chain-link fence between them, she knows it to be enough for her to find solitude lounging under a mighty oak tree in the center courtyard. The owner of this wolf sanctuary has put into place a fencing system and a strict protocol that keeps not just the visitors safe but the wolves as well. Two 12-foot-high chain-link fences surround each den creating a double barrier between these wolves and the outside world. To gain entrance to their dens you first have to be accompanied by a handler who will open the outside gate, let the two of you in, then close that gate and proceed to enter the final gate. This system is very effective in keeping both the people and wolves safe from improper access.
Some of you may read this and think, “How foolish of the cat to trust that her caretakers, the gatekeepers, will guarantee to keep her protected from the wolves.” Perhaps she has been lulled into a false security because no wolf has escaped the barriers yet. But, there is one other factor. The cat knows there is one more safe haven within her sanctuary. It is a tall and mighty oak tree that she could scale at a moment’s notice, taking her to a place beyond where her foes could climb. So, she has not only adapted to her environment but has also found a place to dwell that has given her multiple forms of safety.
How well have you done in adapting to your circumstance, or to your environment? Have you put your trust solely in others to be the gatekeepers, and do you also have a place that you can retreat to quickly if your gatekeeper slips up and lets the wolves in?
One last question: Do you recognize the wolves beyond the fence and know that they can literally destroy you? Uncamouflaged, you may recognize a few of them in the form of anger, laziness, drug or alcohol abuse, lust/pornography, over-indulgence, denial, greed or selfishness, paralyzing fear or pride.
If you have fallen victim to your own actions and are doing your best to fight off the attacks in the heat of battle, understand that the mighty oak that stands behind you is a simile of those individuals who can support and give you counsel to fight your fight well that you may stand another day. Those counselors can be found in the form of a helpful spouse or good friend, parent, pastor or an ecclesiastical leader or even a trained therapist. Basically, that retreat should be those people around you who know how to advise you to rebuild those walls and fences of protection.
We are not too far removed from those creatures that rely solely on instinct to survive. However, many of us have blocked out the warning signs, and by doing so we have let our gatekeepers go, leaving the gates wide open. Your life is important and should be protected to the fullest from those things intent on destroying you. So, keep a watchful eye, and if the adversary breaks through the barriers know whom to run to . . . and run as though your life depends upon it, because it very well might.
In Other’s Words:
“We humans fear the beast within the wolf because we do not understand the beast within ourselves.”
~Gerald Hausman~
Aug
9
Stretch, Pause & Find Strength
August 9, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Stretch, Pause & Find Strength
While in Colorado a couple of weeks ago, I was fortunate to be around a group of dear friends for an extended period of time and learned a valuable lesson from my observation. During this week of solitude, exhilaration, chaos, movement and stillness, I was blessed to witness tranquility in action each morning when I awoke. My bed was a soft leather recliner that backed up to a large bay window displaying a panoramic view of a mountain vista, a meadow and the entire splendor you can imagine Colorado has to offer.
Each morning, without fail, one of the girls would step out onto the porch or into the grassy field and proceed with a routine of movement so peaceful, fluid and beautiful I found myself mesmerized by her actions. She would stretch out her arms, elongating her body, and then pause, holding the stance like a statue. Her motions were direct and strong yet held a remarkable depth of calm and relaxation. This routine was followed as she listened to a peaceful voice accompanied by music in her headphones, helping her to take the long pauses needed that otherwise would have been rushed through and not held.
Our body is only as remarkable as our mind and will allow it to be. It is only through movement that it can remain, or once again become, pliable. To be pliable is to be capable of bending. If that soft leather recliner I knew as my bed did not have a soft, pliable covering, it would soon crack and break apart when pressure was applied. Now, it might take a very long time to get to this point, yet with neglect the duration of time to that destination would be greatly decreased.
I know of the inability to stretch and elongate this body, for I still have wounds that are taped and bound, restricting my movements of full motion. With this restriction I can tell you it is confining and hindering as even my deepest of breaths are bound. With time and healing the concerns of hurting, or breaking apart that which has been repaired, subsides and eventually no longer will be a concern. I am still recovering from surgery and physically weak, but soon my mind and determination will enable my body to find strength and move to its fullest capacity.
It is through our decisions of action that we can bring our body its greatest strength, surprisingly, as we stretch and pause rather than power and push through movement. Life itself is less easy to break if we remember that might and force are not the only tests of strength. Understanding this truth and applying it to how we treat our being can serve us well. I am the caretaker of this form, and I hope to remember the example I viewed while peering out a window to a vista that displayed the beauty of one who, through movement and moments of pause, showed me strength through tranquility in action.
In Other’s Words:
“Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.”
~Unknown~
Aug
5
Tattered – Imperfect Beauty
August 5, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Tattered – Imperfect Beauty
Today a friend and I hung out in a garden photographing the butterflies. The arrival of these elegant monarchs was like a royal assembly as they gathered for the ball. They escorted one another through patches of flowers showcasing each flighted dance and captivating their audience as we sat, watched and waited for the perfect shot.
At times they would flutter in, dropping on the backside of a flower patch out of camera’s view, and then quickly leave. Yet other times they would float in on a breeze and land for the perfect shot as if posing momentarily to appease the beasts scurrying about them in the garden. We spent hours sitting, watching and quickly moving to drop in position to capture their beauty. It was, to some degree, a test of patience but mostly a lesson in skill.
I realized early on just how many choices must be made in the preparation of a photograph before the opportunity arises to get the “perfect shot,” which still eludes me. With each setting in the camera a different effect can be achieved. The beauty of this hobby is in the infinite possibilities that can happen. One person’s viewfinder may be focused on the same subject as another, yet they can compose and see it entirely different.
After a long period of time in the garden, my friend made a statement, saying, “Save your shots, that one is tattered.” I stood up and snickered at the thought that in our quest for the perfect shot we actually believed that there was a perfect subject. How infantile were our beliefs up until that moment. Focusing through the viewfinder at this elegant specimen and seeing his tattered and battered wings, of whose life span is coming to a close, I made a choice to photograph him as much or more than the others. After all, there really is such a thing as imperfect beauty. This is why he was chosen as the model for the image of this post.
I myself have been tattered and battered by life’s winds of change that have scarred and rearranged me. Even though my wings may appear to have been clipped, I can still fly and realize that these imperfections really do not reflect the beauty I am. If you know of another who appears different from your ideal of beauty, ask yourself this: “Is my viewfinder clouded over from a haze, a preconception in my own mind’s eye of how the world sees beauty?” Are you able to find the settings needed to see beauty in their countenance if that is what truly exists? What the world may value as beautiful is not necessarily what God sees as beautiful, and ultimately from His perspective, the big picture can be found . . . the perfect shot.
In Other’s Words:
“The true perfection of man lies not in what man has, but in what man is.”
~Oscar Wilde~
Aug
2
Pathways – A Joined Journey
August 2, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Pathways – A Joined Journey
Every day we get up, brush ourselves off and walk forward. At least that is what we should be doing. The moment our eyes open to the dawn and our mind awakens, decisions are made. Such decisions direct our actions and our emotions and help us to determine just how we will walk our walk. Whether we have a bounce in our step (carefree from worry and pain) or agony in each movement, we are the ones who must make the choice to move. And if that movement is in the direction of, or away from, others our journey will reflect those choices.
I had a remarkable moment of clarity after reading the previous article to my child whose story was told within it. He sat intently listening to what I had written, contemplating his role and responsibilities in it. The story talked about his feelings of not belonging and being left out of a group of boys his same age. He sat silent for some time afterwards and then, with much maturity, informed me of the personal responsibility he accepts in his alienation from others. His words were something like, “You know mom, if I feel alone and left out it is because I walked away and allowed myself to be alone and left out.” Wow, to think that a young teenage boy could remove his hurt feelings enough to take ownership of something so difficult was enough to bring tears to this mom’s eyes. Through further conversation I knew that he understood the importance of his role in belonging and that blame is almost never one sided.
Some friendships nurtured are natural and easy to develop, whereas others may be difficult and troublesome. The question that has to be addressed is, “What, or who, is worth the effort?” Before we write off another because of the challenges and stress they may add to our life, we should first try to understand life through their eyes and with empathy decide if they are worth it. This decision of worth should not be determined soley through what they add or take away but also what we may add to and take away from them. By seeing through another’s eyes we are more apt to want to help them with their trials. Yes, some of you will read this and automatically connect to someone you know who is high maintenance, toxic, negative and so on. But, if you still have a connection with these challenging souls, what have you done to help them in becoming more tolerable? Maybe all that is needed to change the nature of one’s heart is to have another “Draw a circle that lets them in.”
Not one of us is walking perfection. Each has something that another would not like. Does that give reason to ostracize or leave alone, or give reason to walk away? There are only two things that I feel we take with us at journey’s end. The first is our knowledge we have acquired through the days of our lives, and the second is our relationships. Do you know of, or are you, someone who has left a church group, community group or work association because of hurt feelings? By doing so, the hurt you choose to inflict is on yourself. Sometimes people can just be cruel, and those associations are best left alone. But other times it may just take another person to take the time or effort needed to get to know others.
It takes courage to step forward when it is easier to step back and walk away. As difficult as relationships may be, they can also become some of the most rewarding ventures life has to offer. My challenge to myself this day is to find someone that I have walked away from in the past and turn my heart and direction around that we may walk side by side, even if for a brief moment, just to let them know that they are important. Hopefully, with practice, I will become accountable to my relationships with others and learn to build bridges where walls have once stood.
In Other’s Words:
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”
~Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You’ll Go!)~
Jul
29
Fairness – Or Lack Of
July 29, 2010 | Leave a Comment
Fairness – Or Lack Of
As I talked to my child about dealing with others who have excluded him, I treaded lightly and listened as he expressed his feelings of being tossed aside and treated unfairly. I let him know that regardless of the actions of others he must stand as strong as a tree and not let their actions sway or change his character. Nothing in this world is guaranteed except birth and death. Everything in between should come with a disclaimer that would read something like this: “Don’t be discouraged when life breaks, scrapes, scolds, scours and appears to devour you. It’s nothing personal . . . it’s just life.”
As I thought more on the subject of fairness, I came to the conclusion that the human condition leaves so much room for our character to be tested and refined because of the simple truth that, “So much in life is not fair and we must learn to deal with it.” Whether you are dealing with unfair treatment from others, physical abnormalities of an imperfect body, an economical drought or emotional confusion, you are not the first and will not be the last to be faced with these challenges.
When I was in Colorado last week, I was saddened by the physical change that has come to the forests of that region as they have been decimated by the plague of the mountain pine bark beetle. These small beetles prey upon weakened trees whose defenses are down due to drought or disease. The little beetles burrow under the bark, and the only defense healthy trees may have is to increase resin or sap production which may contain certain insecticides and fungicides to kill off the attaching beetles through suffocation or simply by immobilizing them. However, if the beetle’s numbers are too great, the healthy forest will have no defense against the plague and will lose the battle. Actually, it is a certain fungus the beetles carry that ultimately kills the tree as it spreads into its trunk. This appears to be what is taking place in certain regions of the Rocky Mountains and beyond. The dying forest was exhibited, as rust-colored limbs clung to the freestanding corpses of the tall pines lining the mountain ranges. In some areas the only green signs of life that survived was that of the quaking aspen trees, which appeared unfazed by this killing plague.
As I think about the effects of disease to a living creature such as these mighty trees, I can’t help but to compare the effects of life’s hardships to an individual if they let their defenses down and allow the cruel twists of fate get under their skin and change their character to hate or bitterness. Unlike those mighty pines, we have control as to what we allow into our inner bark, our character, our being. It is up to us whether we chose to be strengthened or shattered by life’s unfair moments, and it is up to us whether we use those hardships to make our core stronger or weaker, risking our demise because of it.
In less than twelve hours I will go into surgery, the fifth in sixteen months. It would be easy to let the situation control me rather than stand up to what it is and be grateful for what I have versus what I do not have. By looking at the good that exists in my life, I am given the ability to not focus on those things that could be considered unfair, allowing me to stand strong against anything that may want to tear me down. For who am I to complain because life has brought me a few unpleasantries? After all, life isn’t fair, but at least I still have life.
In Other’s Words:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.”
~Reinhold Niebuhr~