I Walked Down A Corridor
A person could look at life’s challenging events as being an accumulation of cruel and twisted fate of which they had no control, especially, those situations that may be debilitating and unfair. I’m sure we all have had trials come our way or know of someone whose tough situation could be described as being dealt an unfair hand. “Why Me?” or “Why Them?” is a common question that follows as we look at the aftermath of life’s seemingly harsh events. But, as I stated before “Why not me?” So the question is: Did we sign up for these trials before stepping onto terra firma or do we just have the luck of the draw whether we are born into wealth or poverty, strength or weakness, endless trials or ease of life? The answer may never be brought to our minds and souls yet we all, no matter our beliefs, will question the fairness of life at one point or another.
The power of the mind controls the condition of the heart. Even though the situation may be something out of our control, we all have power over our reaction to those unfavorable circumstances. My recovery has been long and unexpected at times, with an extra surgery and other health complications that have slowed down the healing process. Yesterday I had the last drainage tube removed from my back (almost 6 weeks after the second surgery), and was told I will have to wait another 10 days before I can work out. However, I can have my first shower after four and a-half months on Friday and I’ll take the last of my antibiotics that I’ve been on for the same amount of time. That is also the day I am allowed to sweat again. Yes, the doctor’s instructions have been to “Not Sweat!” Got to love that one, Eh? I am so close to Freedom I can taste it. It’s all good. . .because I am healthy.
With each and every delay, I have followed the doctors’ orders to a tee. It would have been easy to try and find blame elsewhere for all that has not gone as planned, but I don’t believe in that method of ownership. Or should I say, lack of ownership. I believe that by throwing blame elsewhere for our problems or, by dwelling on the negative, we chose to not take ownership of our situation. Remember, it is our situation even if we do not deserve it. It is critical to our well being that we recognize how we chose to handle those stresses life throws at us. By taking this pro-active stance we prepare ourselves for the fight. Do we choose to aid or hinder our healing process? It really is up to us.
I don’t know why I have been blessed with such a positive outlook on life or why I have the ability to take life’s hardships and face them head on. Maybe my Creator knew that I would need those skills to get through whatever life will throw at me in the future. Or maybe it’s simpler than that. Just maybe He knew that I would be willing to share my experiences with others to help them gain strength for their fight. With the latter, I chose to take on the challenge and hope that I can help others laugh or maybe just cry a little less about their situation.
The day of my first surgery, I walked down a corridor that was lined on one wall by so many empty gurneys. I found such irony in this scene that I had to stop and take a picture. Questions flooded my mind as to how many people have lain in pain upon those beds; how many didn’t survive their fight; how many were yet to come; and were there children who suffered while a parent stood helplessly by?
I think back to a few years ago when a co-worker of Steve’s got the horrifying news that his young family was shattered and stricken from his grasp because of the misjudgment of a careless truck driver traveling too fast and too close to their family van. The resulting accident took their three children from this earth at the tender ages of five, three, and two. This tragedy shook our community, our state, and the nation as the media unraveled the events and put faces and real tangible lives to the story. Is there any fairness for a young couple to lose all of their children at a single moment? The days and weeks that followed brought a community together as they surrounded the family with support and love. Tens of thousands of blue and pink ribbons were lovingly tied to every tree and sign post that friends and strangers could find. Nowhere could you go without seeing these banners of support to the parents whose hearts where surely breaking.
The funeral was a solemn, yet beautiful celebration of young lives lived for such a brief time. Both parents spoke of the joy their children brought them and how grateful they were for those moments. They also encouraged others to approach them and openly talk about their children. And to not shy away but celebrate their lives and the blessings they brought. I marvel at the sense of faith and peace the Heavens brought them during their refiner’s fire.
The beautiful end to this story is that triplets were born to this couple one year later. Two girls and one boy now help fill the void that existed such a short time ago.
I marvel at their strength and only hope that I might be like them in such moments of despair. My physical fight against cancer holds no comparison to the emotional challenge of these brave parents. I cannot imagine the immense pain in losing a child, let alone one’s entire family.
I end these thoughts in tribute to those who have been left behind. Who have stood by loved ones, or held the hand of a child who has slipped away. Your courage to continue on is inspiring and not without a higher purpose. For there is a sunrise on the other side . . . Beyond The Horizon.
BEYOND THE HORIZON
Many see death as a slumbering state
To which we all must go.
They say it’s a rest from this worn torn world,
A tranquillity for our soul.
The scientist may want you to believe
That dust is all you’ll become.
But, doesn’t it make greater sense
To believe that you just move on?
After all, is it truly a wise belief
That with all the wisdom and growth,
And the refinement that many have worked for so hard
To end it with one final blow?
I believe our Creator is wiser than that
And His love for us will not allow
The person we’ve worked so hard to become
To be gone with the toll of the bell.
As a wise poet once proclaimed
“That death is not the last sleep,
It’s merely a last and final awakening.”
Such wisdom is wisdom to keep.
So as a loved one closes the curtain on life,
Be still in the peace that I know
That this ending is really a beginning:
A new horizon to which they must go.
Truly your loss is another one’s gain.
Those shores to which they have gone
Have loved ones awaiting with open arms,
The loved ones they’ve missed for so long.
The sunset of life and the ending in death
Is a sunrise on the other side.
Beyond the horizon to those distant shores
For there you, too, will someday abide.
Family and friends will shed tears when you leave
And their sadness will be sadness you know
But rest assured your embrace will bring joy at last
On those shores where they, too, will go.
A. E. Gold / 2-27-2000