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The Fall-out / Aftermath of a Storm
September 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment
The Fallout - Aftermanth of a Storm
As I sat at the keyboard this past Monday, I became rather concerned. Hair was every where and we no longer have a cat to blame the fall-out on. Just eleven days have passed since Chemotherapy was administered into my veins and I was told that I wouldn’t see this effect for two to three weeks post-drugs. Now, I have to explain that my concerns weren’t about losing my hair, but rather about the time frame in which it was happening. You see, I had proposed an event to the local Boys and Girls Club and I hadn’t yet heard back from them as to their approval of my proposal. As I sat there at my computer, I wondered just how long I could keep my locks on my head before I looked like a sick puppy with the mange. My worries as to the event taking place ended shortly after when a phone call came from the director who was elated with the proposal and requesting a press release so they could send it out to all the local media, as well as the 13 or 14 other chapters of the Boys and Girls Clubs in Orange County.
So, what is this event you ask? Well, in the press release I give a brief description as to who I am and then I put the following:
“As the outside world continues to bombard our youth with images of what it perceives as beauty, Elaine hopes to strike a match and start a new flame of what is real. She will be addressing those who attend this event of the importance of finding one’s inner beauty, and carrying that torch to light their way in life. And to set this point clear, having undergone her first of many chemotherapy treatments and with hair-loss imminent, she invites those in attendance to help cut her locks and shave her head.”
I now had eight days ahead of me to keep the remaining hair intact in hopes of having more then a Charlie Brown hairline to take to the presentation. So, with much prayer and strategy, I made a decision to not wash my hair ’til Sunday, holding on to hope that I will look rather normal for the event on Tuesday. I’ve never gone longer than three days without shampooing my head, so this experiment will truly be a test, especially with my daily schedule of working out and sweating, sweating, sweating!
Three days have passed since my plan was put into place, and my hair continues to fall out by the handsful. I can’t even brush it at this point as it thins to less then 50% of its original amount. It is truly amazing how the body can just let go of it so easily. The blessing is that I have a visual just how well the drugs are working. So, if I have this effect so quickly it most certainly is doing its job on attacking any stray cancer cells that may have gotten loose into my system five months ago during my first surgery.
The effects of the chemo have been a question I am asked daily. “How is it?” “Are you having any pain?” “Do you feel sick?” These are the typical questions that get thrown my way. In answer to these, and many others that may be on your mind, I would have to say, “It wasn’t so bad, and after all . . . I’m still standing.”
When a person knows a storm is coming they will make preparations in order to weather it well. Such preparations may include boarding up the windows, bringing those items in from the outside that can’t withstand the heavy winds, storing enough food and water in case they are cut off from the outside world for days, and praying that they will survive. I’ve never been in a tornado or hurricane and I can only imagine the stress of the possibilities staring you down at your front door. However, I have been evacuated three times from threat of wildfires taking everything away in a flash. When your home, your sanctuary, is threatened by intrusion, the safety net hangs by a thread.
With this said, I will liken the intrusion of killer drugs to ones body to a storm entering into the sanctuary of our being. I didn’t feel threatened, quite the opposite, I felt the need for this cleansing fire to do its work in order for new growth to come again.
Yes, I did have effects strike me soon after. Actually, by the next day I could feel that my pipes were not working as normal. I should have listened to the doctor’s instructions to pull out the Dulcolax, an over the counter form of Draino for the human body, as soon as these signs reared their ugly head. Not having been through this before, I didn’t head it off at the pass soon enough and as a result the discomfort and pain took me down for three to four days. Along with that I did have typical flu-like symptoms of headaches, body aches, and fever. But, I will have to say; I’m one of the lucky ones who never got sick to my stomach.
The worst of the storm hit five days after I was given Chemo. It came in the form of a pulsating, heartbeat of pain in my lower back and chest area when I would lean over even just a bit. Not knowing what it was, I lay on my couch shortly after midnight with a cell phone in one hand ready to call Steve, who was upstairs sleeping soundly, in case I had to be taken to the hospital. The only thing I could imagine this being something to do with high blood pressure, which I’ve never had before, because I could feel my heart beat with each throbbing pain. So I knew it was vascular but that was about all I knew. At 1:30 am I made my way upstairs to lay down beside Steve just in case he couldn’t hear his phone. Also, if I did have a heart attack I wasn’t sure I’d have enough time to phone him, but I did know I’d be able to grab or hit him quickly. Strange how a person thinks when they are fearful of the unknown. Needless to say, I must have fallen asleep around five or six because, when I awoke at eight Steve had already left for work.
The pain still remained as I called him home to possibly take me to the doctor’s office, which didn’t open until nine. If only I could have talked to the nurse last night all my worries would have been put to ease.
So what was it? Simply the effects of a drug called “Neulasta” that I had been given the day of my Chemo as well as the following day. It is designed to stimulate the bone marrow to make white blood cells. The nurse asked, “Does it feel like a throbbing, pulsating pain, like a heartbeat in the hipbones between the dimples in your lower back?” Wow, she nailed it! Then she continued to explain that in severe cases, in younger patients with healthy bones, the effects are more extreme with the white cell production going into hyper-drive and the pain not just being in the lower back but also in the hip joints along with the sternum. Awesome, I have it all! That must mean I also have young, healthy bones that like the hyper-drive mode when it comes to producing white blood cells. It’s all good, Eh?
My next question to the nurse was, “So, if it’s not something that could kill me, can I get on my bike today?” She assured me that if I could handle the discomfort it would probably do me good to get the blood pumping to disperse these new cells into my blood stream as soon as possible. Along with hydrating, eating more protein, and sleep, exercise was something that would possibly help in this condition. I should have known that all along. So, yes I did work out that day as I have each day during this recovery from Chemo (all but Sundays, my day of rest). There were a few days, I have to admit, that I took a yoga stance for the majority of the time I was there for the workout. The stance, or position, is called the “Child’s Pose,” but the rest of the world would recognize it by the simple title of “The Fetal Position.” Yes, with all truthfulness, I spent my next two days working out half the time curled up on the floor in a ball. However, with that said, I do take pride in the fact that I showed up anyhow. Even though I knew I didn’t feel well enough to do everything, or even half of the program, I still did what I could.
It is so important to “Do your best and forget the rest.” I thank Tony Horton for that statement as he continues to remind me of it as I follow his fitness program that literally is my boot camp to wellness.
Life is too short to sit there and let the storms bash you and bring you down. You have to be prepared to weather them well, but along with the physical preparations it is so important to set your mind with a positive compass so your sails can benefit from the winds of change and continue to push you in the right direction. So, if you have been knocked down in your storm, its time to brush yourself off, clean up the fall-out, and begin moving forward again. I’ll be right beside you. Don’t be surprised if, on a few of those days, I may be curled up in a ball not moving much. However, if you stick around long enough, I’ll untangle myself, do a few push-ups and assure you that “I am well.”