Sep
11
Thriving. Not Just Surviving
September 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment
- Thriving – Not Just Surviving
As I was preparing my presentation for the Boys & Girls Club, I felt an overwhelming need to write a message that would not just impact them, but rather one that would empower them to take charge of their own lives. I hoped for a message that would evoke an unquenchable desire for change and not just words that would be forgotten.
So, here is my message:
How do you become a person who won’t just survive your trials in life but rather will thrive above them and beyond them?
People are truly surprised at my strength, or ability to thrive and really treasure the journey. I have said countless times “It’s all good,” and I really mean it. How can cancer be good, or should I say great? It has taken me to higher grounds and new horizons. So this is how I do it. This is the key to how I am ME. It’s rather simple, you see.
First, I want you to picture a tree . . . . Perhaps a mighty oak. That’s a good visual because we’ve all seen them in this area. Picture one that has been around a long time and has a grand and solid trunk.
That trunk is you . . . your Identity . . . let’s say your Character. It is what grounds you and helps you to stand strong. What is character? A dictionary description would state character to be the “Mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.” So, let’s look at some characteristics of character. Are you kind or mean; do you follow through when you say you are going to do something or do you let things slide; are you honest with yourself and with others? Are you hard-working or do you find yourself taking the easy route more often than not? These attributes help define you. And can they be changed? Absolutely!!!
It really wouldn’t be honest if we were to think or say, “That is just the way I am and nothing can be done about it.” Because something can be done about it. How we influence our character is completely up to us. We are the only ones who can make choices to change . . . for good or for bad.
Now, look at the branches that spread out in all directions from your tree. Those branches are your roles, or the things you do. Are you a gymnast, or a football player (an athlete), a good student? How about a friend, brother, sister, daughter or son? Are you an artist, or perhaps a musician? These are all things you do; they are your roles in life. They can change. Do they affect your identity, your character? To a degree, but the one thing I want to set straight here and now is . . . They are not who you are, they are what you do.
Why is this so important? Let’s look at the possibility of a fire or a storm coming in and burning or breaking off one or more of your branches. Will you remain standing when that happens? Will you appear incomplete or less whole…not as beautiful? Well, if something were to happen to the gymnast, let’s say an accident that didn’t allow her to use her legs anymore, how would she take this new turn of events in her life? The answer lies in how she looks at herself. Has she put such an importance on her skills as an athlete that she has made it (in her mind) her identity? Before the accident, had she placed such importance on what she was good at that she got it lost in her identity instead of just knowing it was something she did and not who she was? If she really understood that she was more than what she did, it would be easier to overcome such a tough blow to her world.
I have cancer! I will lose the rest of my hair tonight, of what I have not already lost due to the effects of chemotherapy on my body. Is it alright in my world? Or, is it earth shattering – the worst thing ever? It is just hair! I am very good with it all because my hair is not what makes me, me. What makes me are those things inside that have made my trunk strong and alive. Because I’ve been able to identify those important strengths I have, and not confuse them with my roles, I am able to thrive and not just survive.
Another part of my identity, that I feel is very important, is the fact that I believe I am a miracle. This body, however perfect or imperfect, houses my soul and the two are amazingly designed to work together as one. Whether you believe in God or not shouldn’t change the fact that you, too, are a miracle and a beautiful creation. With that said, I hope that you do find beauty in how you are made. Do you have freckles or do you have an olive complexion with all of your freckles joined? Is your hair curly or straight, dark or light? Are you thin or do you have a little more substance to your physical form? One last question I want to ask you . . . Is one better than the other? If your answer is yes, then tell me this . . . Who told you so?
You are made how you are made and that is a beautiful miracle. Take hold of this truth and empower yourself for life. Don’t let others dictate how you feel about you.
Now, if you don’t take care of your body and allow it to get sick and unhealthy then you are to blame. Do something about it . . . I am! I didn’t get cancer because I deserved it, or because I sabotaged my health from eating poorly and exposing myself to toxins. I actually have had health issues all my life, but no one would have known it because I tried to stay physically active and eat right. I just got cancer and I am learning how to do a little better than before with diet and exercise and loving the journey. Not everyone who treats his or her body poorly will get life-threatening diseases. I’m just the lucky one. Is life fair? No, but that is alright. No one is given more then they can endure and our challenges are there to make us stronger. I am grateful for my trials, and along with that, I am grateful for my growth.
Now you have it, the secret to what makes me strong through my storms in life. This is how I have taken control of life and not let life take control of me.
So, from here the choice seems rather simple and it is up to you. I hope you will choose “To Thrive, not just Survive.”
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ps. My friend Jody took photos of the event and posted this Friday Message. Thank you my Friend!
Happy Friday!
Here’s our friend, Elaine…
When she was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago she approached me to document her hair falling out after chemo…
It took us awhile to get serious as Elaine knows no fear. She says cancer is just part of her journey.
So, we duct taped her hair to her upper lip…
Then she decided to do a speaking event at the Boys and Girls Club on Strength, Inner Beauty and Self Worth.
Here she allowed the youth to shave her head bald. The teens totally got in to it.
Elaine allowed her huge challenge to become a celebration, education and inspiration.
She is truly someone content in her own skin.
Paul says in Philippians 4:11,
“…for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.”
Elaine says,
“It’s only as bad as you make it.”
