Macro or Micro... It's All About Perspective
I was first introduced to a microscope as a child and was captivated by this idea of this infinitesimal world that had existed all along. A world that was so tiny my own mind couldn’t even conceive of its existence until that moment of realism as I had one eye closed tightly and the other pressed firmly against the rubber eyepiece attached to my brother’s newest toy.
Until that moment, the only thing that was real to me was what I could see. To think that there was another world beyond was mind-boggling to a little girl with pigtails who didn’t travel much further then the neighborhood streets of an army base in Canada. But, this world wasn’t beyond the forests and fields that surrounded our community, rather, this world was right in front of me, yet I couldn’t see it.
As children our ability to step away from the microscope, so to say, is next to impossible. Everything that we focus on in our world is about our immediate wants and needs. It is almost as if we are born with tunnel vision. In this juvenile state our peripheral vision is blocked and we focus on our situations and problems as if they are all that exist. This is exemplified as a newborn baby clings to the bottle or breast, having comfort as his eyes focus on his mother’s face while his needs are being met and all is well with his world. Then, when all is not well, as a toddler struggles to play nice and engages in a battle of tug-of-war over a particular toy that has become so important to him that tears are willing to be shed as a result of his frustration in not having complete control, and possession of it.
So, as the child grows and is pulled away from the fight and forced to sit on that “time-out-stool” he learns a technique that can serve him well for future challenges. This technique, or coping-skill, can determine not just his thoughts but also his actions and can empower him in the worst of situations.
The technique I refer to is simply stepping back and viewing problems from a distance before acting upon the situation. With a broader perspective and a wider scope we can, hopefully, find a best-case scenario rather then a worst-case scenario.
A few weeks ago my brother-in-law awoke to a scary reality. When he tried to stand and walk he couldn’t, and just to sit up would cause him to be violently sick. This is a very healthy and athletic individual whose world was drastically shut down in a moment’s time. Within one week he had been rushed by ambulance to the hospital twice and had a very bleak outlook with so many tests being run, yet no solutions in sight. I could only imagine what his darkest hours were like with no answers, facing his mortality, and fearing the worst for his future.
So, as he lay there and worried about his heart or countless other possibilities the doctors were flooding his mind with, he didn’t realize that his tomorrows would find him completely alive and well again. Our typical nature is to worry and fear the worst, and not look at the broad spectrum of positive outcomes. Our thought process may not change the end result, but it will help us to travel that journey with brighter eyes to the future … the unknown future.
He did completely recover from a viral infection that affected his inner ear. Though this experience was stress laden, he spoke of gratitude for a wonderful family who stood by supporting him through the darkness.
In such tough situations in life, it is difficult to pull ourselves back to that time-out-stool to give us a different perspective or point of view on the situation. But, it is times such as these that we need to do so and fight for the big picture to hold the best-case scenario rather than the worst. We must ask ourselves “Is it macro, or is it micro?” At that moment most of us won’t have an answer, but what we can do is hope (or dream) for the micro.
A micro situation would bring an outcome that, in the big picture, would just be something that wouldn’t matter so much to one’s world in the big scheme of things. Whereas a macro situation would be life-changing, for good or for bad.
While in Park City a few years ago, a group of us were traversing on bikes across a ski mountain when one of our friend’s speed got out of control. Instead of continuing across she soon found herself heading straight down a very extreme slope. At one point she was launched over a berm and catapulted 20 or 30 feet to end up unconscious and seemingly lifeless. Many of us dropped our bikes and ran as fast as our feet could safely take us to her side. Time stood still to seem like an eternity as we kept her warm, waiting for help to arrive. Our prayers were endless not knowing if she would live or die. Within my mind I flashed back to an accident that happened a few years earlier to another women mountain biker I knew. While riding a single tack (very narrow trail) she also lost control and went down an embankment several hundred feet to enter a new world as a quadriplegic. This was truly a prison to someone so very active in life, and she remained a quadriplegic for one year, until passing away.
Time truly does appear to stand still when life is held by a thread and one feels helpless to control the outcome of the situation. That day, on the mountain in Utah, our friend’s future was in the hands of skilled paramedics and, later on great doctors. She was released from the hospital later that evening with only a concussion and some abrasions and was able to fully recover and ride again.
All of these stories are macro as they happen, yet some may fade in the mind of the individuals to who they belong, thus becoming micro as time passes and life goes on. Whether our challenges are physical, mental, or personal they are all seen differently through different eyes and different perspectives. Such as, one divorce situation could never be identical to another because each person involved has his or her own story.
I have a friend currently going through a very difficult divorce after a 20-year marriage. Her spouse not only walked out on the family, but also did so in the arms of her best friend. There is little light to find in such a dark situation as you see the shattered home with young children’s lives affected by the callous actions of someone who should have their best interests at heart. So, as I consoled her and discussed the situation, I asked her to pull herself into the future …five, ten, perhaps fifteen years from where she currently stood. In doing so, I wanted her to see a future with, perhaps another partner who would value her for the truly beautiful individual she is, living an enriched and full life, happy and appreciated. Then I asked her to look to a similar future where she had stayed with the college sweetheart who never made her feel she was of value. A future with a man who has let alcohol cloud his judgment. She cannot change the past but, she most certainly can look for a brighter light to the future simply by stepping back, evaluating, and then moving on.
I marvel at the wonderful process of life and how, as human beings, we are able to learn, grow, and develop into productive and caring adults, regardless of our flaws and shortcomings. So, as we learn this important skill of coping with adversity, we learn to push the stool back and look at the room in which we stand with hopeful eyes.
Life will bring us many challenges, and even though we can make choices to help avoid certain pitfalls, we will not avoid some difficult paths. These pathways will be more challenging for those individuals who cope with them as a child would, in a world where only they matter, with their head down, one eye closed tightly, with the other eye focused only on what they see directly in front of them. In this state, their problems become all that they can see as they are magnified. I choose to step back and look at my life from a distance. My cancer is one such road that, from a distant perspective, is pretty macro in nature. I see it as such yet act as if it is not and by doing so I find tolerance in the trial. Truly, it’s all about perspective.