Seeing Through Us
If we were transparent and displayed all that we are, I’m sure we would work a little harder to perfect our strengths and strengthen our weaknesses. Some people may live their life like an open book with all aspects of their character exposed. Especially if that person believes in an All Mighty God who will judge them for who they are and what they do. Now, some people may not like this form of monitoring one’s self, because in their opinion, the actions of good are only driven by the fear of judgment and punishment. I say, “If a person is driven to improve their nature and their environment, regardless of the reason for doing so, they are at least taking a step forward to better themselves, rather than denying accountability for who they are.” Can this be so wrong?
We are all truly complex beings, and with such complexity it is no wonder that perfection is not a reality to achieve. Over the past three weeks, as I prepared to write an article on forgiveness, I found the task of writing an in-depth article so far-reaching from the magnitude and complexity of this subject. The more I studied, the more I began to understand just how much there was to know and comprehend. The facets of the skill of forgiveness touch on so many points and directions that, in order to do it justice, I realized that it would have to be a three part article (and, even at that, I knew so much more could be explored beyond this little bit of insight). So, with the first article focusing on pride, and the second on grudges and forgiveness of others who have wronged us, I’d like to touch briefly on two other very important points of forgiveness. These being: The forgiveness of self and forgiveness of God.
Blame is the keyword in the action of being unforgivable. Have you ever found it difficult to not harbor mistakes that you personally have committed, holding onto and not being able to forget what damage you have inflicted on yourself or others? This may be your way of punishing yourself, and by doing so, you hinder your chance for happiness. Is it really a condition you wish to condemn yourself to? In not recognizing this fault of blame you can inhibit your ability to forgive, but even worse, your chance to have peace and be free. As I have stated before, “Forgiveness is a choice,” and without the cure, which is humility, one will not be able to make that first step. You must practice forgiving the small stuff first, so, if the big challenges enter your world you will be ready and able to take the same steps forward toward the more difficult tasks, whether they be directed towards others, yourself or God.
Over a decade ago I heard a story of an elderly couple that angrily went before their ecclesiastical leader to announce their disappointment and resentment to God for allowing their daughter, son-in-law, and two grandchildren to be taken from this earth at the hands of a careless drunk driver. This wise leader learned of the agony and pain this couple bore as they blamed God for the act, claiming, “He could have stopped it.” As they focused on the anger and hate, the deep seeded resentment for their loss had almost destroyed any hope of happiness for either of them. The wise leader counseled them on a lesson in “Free Agency.” His response was, “God has given free agency to all, for good and for bad. If he were to manipulate the outcome of all bad choices to spare the pain of the innocent then free agency would not exist.” He then expressed how God knows their suffering and only through an act of forgiveness would they be freed from the chains of hate that they have placed on their own lives.
The lesson in this story is a great one. We cannot choose the actions of others; we can only make the choice of how those actions affect us. Do we choose to bind our lives and live in a hateful and unhappy state, or do we have the keys, the skill of forgiveness, to unshackle those chains that bind us? It is up to us to seek happiness and joy in life, and it is also up to us to develop those skills needed to release us from an unforgiving state. So, be transparent with yourself, and be willing to look inside at who you are and what you need to become in order to be free.
In Other’s Words:
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”
~Catherine Ponder~