Blind to Inhibition – Finding a Place to Belong
A few days ago I walked into a restaurant and was pleasantly surprised by the gathering of a group of women. They could not be missed as each wore a flamboyant, colorful and unique hat that majestically accented their royal purple outfits. Most of the hats were red in color and quite ornate in design. I soon learned that these crimson crowns were part of the “Red Hat Society,” and the ladies who held membership join in commonality with similar chapters around the world in supporting fun, friendship, freedom, fulfillment and fitness for women in their mid to latter years of life. In being part of this organization they exuberantly celebrate being women and the contributions of women in society. The lead organizer of each chapter is respectively given the title of “Queen Mum” for her royal role in helping the group activities to be organized and orchestrated.
As I interacted with this particular chapter of thirteen attending members, I soon discovered that a wonderful and fun sisterhood is existing amongst them. The thirteenth member had joined that day and is pictured in the above photo. She is legally blind and was accompanied by her black lab guide dog (who is now an honorary member). I talked to this women briefly and asked about her vision and to what degree she can see. She mentioned that she sees shapes but I was uncertain if she can see color. As I composed this image with the intent on writing a story, I wanted to show how the world might be seen through her eyes. Most likely she sees these red hats in a shade of grey and the features of one’s face not viewed with such detail as what my lens captured while shooting with the shallowest focal length I could manage. Yet, as I composed, waited and shot photos, the smiles and laughter encompassed this new member with friendship and community. If she had any concerns of being accepted into this group, those inhibitions would have quickly melted away as belonging took hold of the camaraderie that enveloped the room.
How many of us let inhibition control our environment, keeping us away from belonging? In the dictionary the word inhibition is described as “a feeling that makes one self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way.” Basically speaking, it is an action of inhibiting, restricting or hindering a process. I personally have had points in my life that self-confidence did not always allow me to be comfortable around certain people or groups. Many who know me now by the one hat that I regularly wear as the “Social Butterfly” may find this very hard to believe. But really, I feel that every person, at one time or another, has not been comfortable in social settings and has felt the distant loneliness of not belonging.
Currently I belong to several groups and associations. Some I have joined in seeking knowledge or giving service, and others I have joined in seeking friends. Regardless of the reason, the greatest gifts I’ve found in all of these have been the friendships acquired, through which I’ve been able to connect a lifetime of many great and wonderful memories. I have recently discovered that a few of these new-found friends I associate with no longer have associations with their own immediate families. For these individuals, family now comes through their community, from their associations in these groups that they have chosen to be a part of. It really is wonderful to be involved in something that unites individuals with a common cause or importance and becoming connected to people in society who have similar interests as you.
A few of you will read this and think, “I hate groups, they’re all cliques and exclude more then they include.” This should not be true; however, some (if organized for the wrong reason) will fulfill their agenda without care and consideration to others. I feel that if a group is organized for a purpose that brings harm it should be known as a gang and not described as a club, group, association or society. Gangs, which generally define themselves in opposition to the mainstream norms, may also describe themselves as being a place of belonging and a powerful force. But, as stated in the Bible, “By their works ye shall know them.” So, before joining any group I would challenge you to do your research and not believe all that you read or are told. First, learn for yourself if they are of good. If they are not, then hopefully you will not be lured into being part of something that preys on victims and distorts their evil ways to be anything but what they truly are.
If you have had bad experiences with an organization, don’t let that be the determining factor to disassociate yourself from others. There really is a lot of good in this world with many people who have become connected with others to share that good. Don’t deny yourself the benefits of finding joy in life through others. If you do so, you are choosing inhibition to blind you to possibility, and it just may be possibility that is before you in blurred vision. Try to identify the features on the face of opportunity, for when you do you just may find yourself greeted by a smile from a friend you never knew.
In Other’s Words:
“There is a destiny that makes us brothers (sisters)
None goes his way alone
All that we send into the lives of others
Comes back into our own.”
~Edwin Markham~