The Collector – What More Do You Need?
When you have been married as long as I have, you tend to accumulate many things, both wanted and unwanted . . . and hopefully the spouse is in the wanted category. Our twenty-eight-year anniversary just passed, and as usual we did not look to the traditional or modern anniversary gift list to figure out what to get each other. In an odd and somewhat unconventional way this turned out to be the year of the Crock-Pot; some of you may know it as a “slow cooker.”
The story began several months ago when a friend explained how she balances life with a large family and many responsibilities. To help minimize a hectic Sunday schedule and bring her family together, she has started a tradition called “Crock-Pot Sunday.” Every Sunday morning she prepares a meal in her slow cooker, and by the time her hungry family returns home from church late that afternoon the house is filled with the inviting aroma of a home-cooked meal. I love this because it makes dinner preparations easy, yet more importantly it creates a gratifying custom that welcomes in. In our busy lives chaos tends to push out the gathering of family and friends around a table to share and enjoy what should be treasured most: each other’s company.
After finding our slow cooker we received as a wedding gift so many years ago, I dusted it off and put it to work. Up until this time I believe it had seen fewer meals prepared in it than the years it was old, and after so many years of neglect this golden cooker became the center of attention, point of discussion and means of controversy. You see, this old yet functional appliance is lacking some of its modern counterpart’s features, such as automatic warming, digital display and a removable porcelain insert to make cleanup easier. The latest and greatest was found to be rather inexpensive yet had all the added options and features we were looking for. So now the search was on to find it. And there it was, my find of all finds, in stainless steal to boot. There it sat on the kitchen table for Steve to come home and see: the perfect anniversary present. All was well until Steve arrived home with almost the same cooker (not stainless steel, however), cheaper and with a bonus baby Crock-Pot for sauces. So the competition was on as to whose gift would stay, giving the bragging rights to that person for finding the best deal. Steve campaigned fiercely by posting a neatly scribed sign on his Crock-Pot stating, “Pick Me!” Yeah, way to play fair, Eh? He figured that the kids would be the judges but neither of them would vote, leaving the final decision up to me. I won, the pretty one stays!
That was the final decision until Steve came home the next day with a smirk claiming to have found the one I picked only $20 cheaper at a discount store. “OK, you win,” I stated as I agreed to return the other Crock-Pot and ventured over to buy the winning prize. Hmmm, as I stared looking at it on the shelf I came to the conclusion that it could wait another day or two because I knew I’d have to make room for this new addition.
When the old golden Crock-Pot comes to mind, making room for more when more isn’t necessary really is the lesson taught. With so many years of accumulated stuff, it is easy to become lost in it all. The truth of the matter is, if we were asked to list from memory everything we own in each room of our house, most of the items would be forgotten. Also, if we ventured through our cupboards, closets and secret hiding places we would find that most of our treasures have not been used for years. Why do we desire a need for more? I believe that if we come to understand the answer to that question we can possibly find a solution to de-cluttering our lives. My answer came in how I was raised. My mother was born during the Great Depression of the thirties and was a child when World War II caused great scarcity of food and conventional items of day-to-day living. It was ingrained in me to not waste anything . . . ever. “Waste not, want not,” was repeated over and over again in my childhood and gave excuse for my mother’s quirky rituals of washing and reusing straws, plastic bags and most plastic containers store goods would come in. Once hand-me-down clothes were worn out she would remove, and save, the buttons before turning that fabric into a household rag. Their generation was recycling before recycling was chic. I still have and treasure the button jar that my grandmother and mother used. I haven’t used it in years, but I have an emotional attachment to the memories it holds. Is that a good thing? Yes, to a degree, and only in moderation. If I find I am holding on to things because they reminded me of someone or an experience, I should ask myself, “Now really, am I hoping that a grandchild will treasure it as I do, or will it just end up in a garage sale as unwanted junk?” It is not bad to nostalgically hold on to a few items that connect you to your heritage, but make sure it is within reason. Understand why you hang onto things and address the issue if stuff is controlling you.
Another area to look at if your environment is cluttered and out of control is why you accumulate things. Do you buy items because they emotionally fill a void? If so, what is that void and how can it be filled otherwise, in a healthier way? If your actions are recognized as emotional impulses then it is time to address them and get help if you can’t do it on your own. I use to go to garage sales every Saturday morning looking for treasures, and treasures I would find. I justified my hobby and all the things I acquired from it because “they were such good deals” and because of the high I got from the “thrill of the hunt.” At one point I realized that I was buying just because the deals were so good and not because I needed the items, finally recognizing the unhealthy road emotionally and financially I was on. Thank goodness I realized my actions to be detrimental and made choices to change.
My desire to have control verses being controlled, in this case by things, has freed me. Now when I shop I ask myself, “Is it a need or a want?” By repeating this simple phrase before going to the register, I am able to clear out unnecessary items.
I didn’t ever return for the Crock-Pot and each Sunday happily use the one I have. It has become a gentle reminder that I choose to appreciate what I have, allowing my life to be simplified in finding enough with less rather then more. So on a Sunday afternoon there will be more room for those of greatest importance, family and friends, as they are welcomed by the aroma of home cooking. We will gather around a table and find that the treasures are in this time spent together.
In Other’s Words:
“Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.”
~Unknown~