Who Kicked Your Trike? ““ A Lesson In Forgiveness

Who Kicked Your Trike? ““ A Lesson In Forgiveness

Who Kicked Your Trike?

Who Kicked Your Trike? ““ A Lesson In Forgiveness

In being focused on the topic of forgiveness, I have discovered this to be a subject that all are in need of. It is a skill to be acquired through life-long practice, and one that should be addressed by everyone: young and old, good and bad, friend and foe. Just as a young child needs to be taught how to get along with others, we too need this eternal principle of learning to let go. The lessons on forgiveness can actually be taught well through the child’s example. Have you ever observed children at play? When fights break out how quickly do they forgive, make up and move on? It is rare to see a young child hold a grudge against another. So, can it be that simple?

Even though there are many degrees by which one can be hurt by another, the process to forgive and rise above the trial is the same; it all starts with the choice to do so. Surprisingly enough, many people choose to hold grudges as a way to harbor anger, resentment and shackle those who have wronged them. They may feel justified to do so, especially when the offence to them or their family is so grievous, such as when another has taken a life. The irony in holding a grudge is it usually takes the life (metaphorically) of the person gripping on to it.

Years ago I was taught a simple lesson that has helped me to refrain from holding grudges against those who have wronged me. This was one of the greatest life lessons I’ve been taught. It was spoken across a kitchen table in the darkening evening twilight as tension hung thick in the air. At this time I was a young adult and, once again, a family fight had just played out its ugly third act. The verbal fighting had escalated to physical violence as my older brother came to the defense, and protection, of my mother who was being verbally abused by a younger brother. The harsh and threatening words had robbed the home of peace, stealing away the solitude of what should have been a sanctuary that had not existed for a very long time.

I stared at my mother’s sad eyes as she attempted to pick up the pieces of the shattered environment. I remember this moment well, as she did what was needed to bring a sense of compassion for this brother who had lost his ability to control his deep seeded anger and had found a bloody outcome to his belligerent ways. There she sat, the peacemaker of our family, across the table from a few of her children (minus my brother who had fled), and with love and empathy towards him she stated, “There is only one thing worse than dealing with your brother, and that is being him.” These words did not just touch my heart but seared my soul with such a profound impact that my life, and how I deal with others was forever changed from that point on.

Her simple statement, in her pleading for empathy and understanding, taught me compassion. These words, rather rudimentary in form, taught how to turn judgment into tolerance rather than being critical of other’s faults. The beauty in this process is, it helps one to take control of their own actions and reactions by working from the inside out, instead of, how the world would work on a person, from the outside in. Not only does this change the nature of the person who uses it, but also the effect can be dramatic from the receiving end when one does not feel battered or judged. By doing so, she also taught the power and effect it can have on relationships, and how to treat others regardless of the circumstance.

In my life, time and time again, this statement silently is spoken when someone has made my road a little bumpy. I have replaced the words “Your Brother,” and “Him” with the individuals name, making it personal. And without fail, I am able to see them through softened eyes, and in many cases, they also were changed when they were treated without contention, judgment or guile . . . But rather with love, empathy and tolerance.

So, as you go out in this grand world, I challenge you to treat all associations with a new and softened heart, that you may have the gentleness to realize that we are like children on a school playground just wanting to be accepted and loved. Each person has their own set of challenges, and each needing acceptance. So, if somebody “Kicks Your Trike,” just know that they may be fighting a much bigger battle than the one they have tried to pick with you.

In Other’s Words:

“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”

~Lewis B. Smedes~

1 Comment

  1. Sandi

    Wow. Love this one.

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